You should be using this extra time for household projects. You should be Spring cleaning or clearing out closets. You should be cooking extra food and freezing it so you have it for next week. You should be as productive as your partner, sibling or best friend is being.
You should be doing this.
You should be doing that.
You should, you should, you should…
The word should has long been researched and discussed, and it’s been found to be a word we could eliminate.
We’re all reacting and responding differently to our present situation, and sometimes the way we feel is not the way your loved one feels. It might not even be the way you’ll feel in an hour, or two, or in the next ten minutes.
The only thing you should be doing right now is exactly what you are doing!
One of the things I’m struggling with, and several people have shared with me that they too are struggling with this, is being able to focus for more than a short period. I love to read, but right now my attention span is sometimes very short and therefore I start to read and soon find myself distracted. I’m not always redirected to thinking about COVID-19, I’m just unable to stay focused on the task at hand, and I’m ok with that.
I want you guys to be ok with wherever you’re at. However you feel and with the understanding that all of our responses are normal. There is no “normal” anymore, there is “ok”.
It’s ok to feel how you do. It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be angry, it’s ok to have cabin fever already and to want to get the hell out of your house, as much as it’s ok to want to shut the world out and not even speak to anyone.
Just keep this in mind, even if you don’t consider yourself a social person, the lives we lived before this pandemic, were social. We socialized when we went to the grocery store, the doctors office, to work. We socialized with family, friends and others in a shared environment like church, a concert, the gym.
So what you “should” be doing is anything that feels right to you, go with the flow. If you feel grateful that you are healthy, that’s ok, if you need to get out of your house and go for a walk only to find when you open the door you just can’t, that’s ok too.
It’s all ok, and it’s all the new normal, only it doesn’t feel quite so normal.
Please make sure you reach out to someone when you are feeling lonely or isolated. Please remember that even if you’re the biggest introvert, you lived a life that included socializing with cashiers, restaurant servers, concession stand workers at the movies and grocery store staff.
Face Time with your family, video chat through Facebook messenger or portals. Keep in touch with one another even via texting or email.
It’s all about caring for yourself and doing what feels right moment by moment.
We do not need to put added pressure on ourselves. Listen to your body, what does it need? What feels right for you? What do you need to manage your situation? That is what you should be doing.
Virtual Hugs, Kim